Elle Woods (aka Reese Witherspoon) said it herself:
“Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.
Happy people don’t shoot their husbands. They just don’t.”
happy-people exercisers may not shoot their husbands, but watch out. They might be after you instead.
Let me start from the beginning…
I’m at the gym. I have a small blister on my foot from running the other day, so I decided I’d rather do the Elliptical. You know when your mind is just set? Well, my mind was set.
Somebody was using the machine when I got down there (no big surprise, our gym is super small, only one Elliptical). Normally I would just think, “Ehhh fine, I’ll run instead.” Tonight, I didn’t want to run. Hmmm, I’ll just lift weights until she’s done. I stood there, lifting the huge 5-lb-ers (the next one up is 20-lb. Not happening.) in various ways for a good 20 minutes.
In the meantime, somewhere around minute 15, another visitor pops in. She walks over to the Elliptical and stands next to it. Takes off her sweatpants and jacket, and just stands there.
“Agh, hopefully she’s not waiting for it too. Maybe she’s getting on the bike (next to it). Huh, nope she’s just standing there. Wow, that’s really rude. I mean, I want that girl to get off, but I’m not gonna stand there and make it blatantly obvious. You gotta let someone enjoy their workout. Not nice, chick. And she better not plan on fighting me for that damn thing. Clearly I’m not actually here to lift weights…. I’m curling 5 pounds.“
She is giving me the stare-down. Oh, this will be interesting.
“Whatever. I’ve been here for 20 minutes. I don’t feel like running. No, I’m not going to. She can wait for me. I will be stubborn.”
Girl-1 gets off the Eliptical. This is it.
I grab my coat and walk over. She makes a move. I reciprocate.
Me: “Hi, I’ve been waiting for this for a while now.”
Girl-2: “Well I was down here earlier when she had 30 minutes left and just came back down.”
Yeah? Hmm, too bad.
Me: “Yea, I don’t know? I mean, I’ve been waiting, sooo….”
Girl-2: (giving me the death-stare, ah!) “Uh, OK. Yah, I guess I’ll just RUN or something.”
Oh, she’s mad. I’m proud of myself, I would usually back down in that situation. I mean, who really cares? But for some reason, that was not gonna happen. I climbed on and started it up.
Over at the treadmill….
She slams her jacket down on the floor and yells: “F*CK!”
.WHOA.whoa whoa whoa
I glance over at Girl-1 and we exchange looks. Both thinking… “Um, did she really just do that??”
Girl-2 has lost her mind. I decide that if she’s taking it as far as having a tantrum at the gym, she can have it. This is crazy! I take my stuff, walk over to the Treadmill and tell her just that (minus the, “You are psycho.”). I give her the “Hey, look, it’s not that big of a deal to me.” She proceeds to tell me that she can’t run, because of her knee. So, Whatever, she’ll just walk. And she has work tonight. And. UGH. Death-stare. She stays on the treadmill.
Alright girl, now I’m amused. You stay on that treadmill. She turned it up to 9.0 and started sprinting, and looked over at me. Then she stopped. Then she looked at me again and says this,
“I mean, are you gonna be on it for like a f*cking hour or something?!”
Me:(What?!?) “Uh, no. I’ll be on it for 30 minutes.”
Turning off the machine, grabbing her stuff and leaving, she says:
“Well when you get off, make SURE I get it.”
And she’s gone.
Girl-2 (aka Psycho): 0
Meanwhile, the entire time I’m in there I fear her return. I think about how I’m going to blog about her, because this is hilarious. And I get out of there as soon as possible when I’m done. There are many weird/random things that happen in the gym, this one tops the “CRAZY” chart.