this is me now

April 1, 2009

Usually I’m a Big fan of Rollercoasters

Filed under: "ehhh" days,about me,learning,makin progress,tired — by heatherdc @ 5:02 pm

Seriously, I Love them. Show me any crazy, looping, 100-ft dropping, twisting, turning Rollercoaster….and I’ll hit it up. And enjoy every second.

But this rollercoaster I’m on right now? Not a fan. At all.

The ride started in August, when I decided to jolt a 3 year Relationship at the same time I was moving to a new state and starting off the 10-month-unpaid-internship Life. Let’s add unparalleled levels of stress (so far….), adjusting to life on a Budget and trying to salvage the long-distance relationship into the mix. Sure, that sounds rational.

Between work, homework, training, traveling, adjusting, and trying to stay within the budget while still enjoying city-life…..I think I lost a few things. Like, um, my sanity. Honestly. Some days I feel like a completely insane version of myself.

Then, somewhere in the middle of all of that, I realized I love this field (good thing too; a Useful Degree is a happy degree).  I really love living in a city.  I love that there are Ridiculous amounts of Penn Staters around here, and I’m excited at the possiblities of New things (i.e….a job, apartment, happy hours….).

I miss having my best friends (i.e. my Roomies) around. When I do get to spend time with them, I dread going back to my new Reality. There are people around here I like too, but, I just want to feel “settled” somewhere.

I miss being 100% Sure (100% of the time) that the choice We, and then I, made was the right one. This comes and goes, in large waves. Sometimes they’re manageable, and sometimes I have no idea how to handle it. There are days when the whole being “single” concept is exciting and a little refreshing, and some days when I miss that happiness more than I know how to deal with. I guess three years of memories, friendship, and fun random adventures together will do that. And I guess being even a little bit patient with the whole situation would help immensely. I’m working on that.

On the up-side, I’m completely in love with working in downtown DC right now. We walked about a mile yesterday during lunch and were greeted with the White House and strings of blooming Cherry Blossoms. Then we walked half a mile in the opposite direction after work and met up with some people for Happy Hour in Dupont Circle. Ooooh city life. I heart you.

Oddly enough, the day is ending on a little high. It certainly didn’t start that way, but thats the excitement of a rollercoaster. You go up and down and never know when the turns are coming, but eventually you get to the end….and think ‘Ah, what a riiide.’

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3 Comments »

  1. hi dear.

    1) stay strong. life post college is one big coaster.

    2) how much longer are you in DC? one of my bffs moved there for work and i’m trying to figure out a time to visit her. hopefully that can match up with when you are around so we can finally meet 🙂

    3) so glad you’re liking your profession/field. i do too, but its still hard sometimes going to a job everyday. thankfully, i dont hate what i do. i couldnt even imagine getting out of bed on those days when its hard enough.

    Comment by ANG* — April 1, 2009 @ 5:56 pm |Reply

  2. I feel like every day is a rollercoaster ride. Some day I swear it has to end. Glad today ended on a high for you.

    Comment by Playful Professional — April 1, 2009 @ 8:34 pm |Reply

  3. Hdc!
    I love this post….u r entertaining me while I wait in the hospital to see what is wrong with me! I love this post and its funny to see how our roller coaster rides are so different but so fun! Its funny bc I never want to be 100% sure of what I am doing is right so I laughed at that part- that’s where our rides differ. Loved this post!

    Comment by lb — April 2, 2009 @ 9:13 pm |Reply


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